Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 39/365

God: Hello Particle, I’m about to send you out into the world. What is it you’d like to accomplish on the journey you’re about to undertake?

Me: I’d like to teach about resilience, love and forgiveness.

God: Particle, these are truly noble pursuits. Are you sure this is what you wish to dedicate your lifetime to?

Me: Yes, this is what I want to do.

God: Well then I’ll turn you into a romantic. You’ll write untold words about love yet never experience it yourself. I’ll send you people who’ll strip-mine your heart until there’s nothing left but an ugly gash on the ground. I’ll send you a mother who blames you for her lot in life. I’ll bring you romantic entanglements that’ll eventually all leave you (broken and unlovable). You’ll learn to get up every time, you’ll learn resilience. 

Me: Wow, that sounds awfully harsh. For both them and me.

God: Not at all, Particle. They signed up to teach you how to get up from disappointment and how to hone your resilience. You will face tougher challenges than romantic failure and the longing for a mother’s love in your life, and you will need to be strong. They signed up to crack your heart open so that you can release the true love in you; for yourself first.

Me: That makes sense. You’ve covered both love and resilience, but left out forgiveness. 

God: I am God, I leave out nothing. Particle, I’m going to send you two fathers. One that will reject you and one that will abuse you. One will leave you when you’re a year old, and the other will stay with you for 13 years, teaching you resilience that can only be forged in the crucible of violence. They both signed up to teach you forgiveness. That was their journey with you. You’ll learn to forgive them in time. You’ll absolve yourself of the guilt you feel for being born and putting your mother through the horror that was her life. You’ll finally learn to forgive yourself. 

Go now, Particle, and fulfil your part in my play.